Last Night's Arson

It wasn’t quite dark when the police cars came barreling toward V’s father’s house.
In the dimly lit room with the TV turned up loud, we saw the blue lights coming before we even heard the sirens. 
Among our gang, the dominant sentiment was fear. But V? She was cooler than a metal handrail on a November morning
When V saw those blue lights getting brighter, she just grinned.

Later, we’d say V had already accepted her fate. But in the moment,
we were worried she had something else up her sleeve–
a deus ex machina she’d conjure to save herself–
leaving who knows how many others stiff on their backs in a pool of their own blood,
or else burned alive before they could escape the house.

Because just moments before, we’d all watched the report on the evening news:
Local teen, female, suspected in last night’s arson at the Bentonville Bazaar.

But the thing that always gets me–
the thing that latched itself to my mind like some immortal, malevolent leech–
is what V said to me as the cuffs clicked around her wrists:
“Burn bright before you burn out,” she said with a wink,
smiling that hungry hyena smile.

Whether V was speaking literally or metaphorically, I never was sure.
I like to think it was a little of both.

With Friends Like These

We climbed the water tower after school
The empty one beside the empty pool
We burned a couple joints up there
And felt the wind blow through our hair
And pissed on everybody else’s rules

The new cashiers are onto us I think
They know that we’re not old enough to drink
They saw us steal some lighters
And some spray cans and some rubbers
But they’re not about to send us to the clink

There’s no bedtime for children
Of drunks, thieves, and drifters
Just a canvas of darkness
For us to paint our futures
‘Til the sun starts rising again
I’ll never walk away from these friends

V loves David Lynch and Cassavetes
She quotes obscure Chilean poets
With her arms around her knees
A pair of savage detectives
But mostly in our minds
I never want to be left behind

We’re unwanted children
Of drunks, thieves, and drifters
Just a canvas of darkness
For us to paint our futures
‘Til the sun starts rising again
I’ll never walk away from these friends

Graduation Party

The door slams shut
With a force to rival seismic events
He staggers into my room
Drunk with a balled-up fist

He missed my graduation
But he threw a party for himself
Old blood stains the wall
He calls it home, but it feels like hell

Now the whiskey’s in his veins
And he needs someone to blame
I’ll grab the wad of bills
From the coffee can by the stove
And never come home again

I keep heavy blunt objects
Locked up like dangerous beasts
Threw out the kitchen knives
Keep all the matches close to me

Old man says there’s nothing like a broken nose
To keep you afraid
I’ll fight back with flight
Instead of fists, I’ll use my brain

A change of clothes and three cans of beer
Everything else can stay here
I’ll grab the wad of bills
From the coffee can by the stove
And never come home again

He was a blank canvas of possibilities
Before I painted over his life
Between odd jobs to make the rent
And tracking down another fifth
Some call it livin’
He calls it a fight

I’m tired of nursing all my bruises
While he comes of up with excuses
I’ll be better off on my own
A bus ticket out west
A student loan to pay the rest
A home that isn’t safe’s not a home

Missing Person Report
You can get away with
Drinking on the bus
If you pour it in a paper cup

You can get away with
Skipping town
If you hang all your friendships up

Oklahoma City in the
Rearview mirror
And my hometown a whole day behind

The expanse like a canvas
Whiter than cream
Begging me to scatter my dreams

With V in the pen
The old gang
Drifted apart like old wood
In a ship’s wake

Left the old Bonneville
In the carport
So there won’t be a
Missing person report

There’s a place where it never rains
And brute strength counts for less than brains
Where my past won’t herald my ultimate fate
And my name won’t bring me shame

The extra cigarette
I bummed at the station
Still wedged between my head and my ear

Eleven hundred miles away
In under three days
Imagine where I’ll be in a year

There’s a place where it never rains
And brute strength counts for less than brains
Where my past won’t herald my ultimate fate
And my name won’t bring me shame

As I shift in my seat
I recoil from the heat
And stare out at the deserted earth
It’s a metaphor, I think, as I nurse my drink
Hold back tears to the point where it hurts

I’m never gonna miss the
Knuckle discipline from a man
Who only knows to be cruel
But I’ll never forget those water tower afternoons

Sign up ahead:
Albuquerque 250
I’ll rest my eyes at least ‘til then
Lean back and let the elevation wake me up

There’s a place where it never rains
And brute strength counts for less than brains
Where my past won’t herald my ultimate fate
And my name won’t bring me shame

As I shift in my seat
I recoil from the heat
And stare out at the deserted earth
It’s a metaphor, I think, as I nurse my drink
Close my eyes so tight that it hurts

There’s a place where it never rains
There’s a place where it never rains
There’s a place where it never rains
There’s a place where it never…

Two Twigs

These books teach me how to
Solve complex equations
How to process charts and figures
For financial computations

To save money for employers
Reduce the need for lawyers
Like a value-added feature
‘Cept I’m just a creature, alright

These lectures can’t teach me
How to settle scores or hide cash
Turn ideas into products that
The rubes can’t help but gawk at

Yeah, it’s harsh; yes, it’s shallow
But what all the normies don’t know
Is that deprivation
Breeds cynicism, fear, and sorrow

Like a twig bent in one
Direction then another
‘Til it snaps or its fibers
Slowly separate and then you have

Two twigs – one that’s shorter
Than the other
Gets resentful, angers easily
Doesn’t work well with others

Fill the barrel high with sticks and straw
Add gasoline to see the flames grow tall
Put it out before the neighbors see
And don’t let on that fire’s your greatest need

Maybe it’s just paranoia
No one’s here to destroy you
These professors and these TAs
Will lead me to the right place
With a job and a future
Both of which obscure the allure
Of revenge and deception
My brain as a weapon

It’s no use, I’ve already
Burnt a hole in the canvas
That was begging me to paint
A neat and tidy happy ending

There’s a car
In a ditch under brush
‘Bout half a mile from town
Nobody goes there

Fill the backseat full of gasoline
Strike a match and quickly flee the scene
Watch for the explosion from the road
Drive the speed limit so that nobody knows

Like a twig bent in one
Direction then another
‘Til it snaps or its fibers
Slowly separate and then you have

Two twigs – one that’s shorter
Than the other
Gets resentful, angers easily
Doesn’t work well with...

Fill the barrel high with sticks and straw
Add gasoline to see the flames grow tall
Put it out before the neighbors see
And don’t let on that fire’s your greatest need

Better burn bright before you burn out
Better burn bright before you burn out
Better burn bright before you burn out
Better burn bright before you burn out

Fit Right In

Hey kid, you’ll fit right in here
They say
You like to party
Don’t you?

If you want it,
You’ve got it
Just take care to
Make the books show

That our margins
Are healthy
Balance sheets are
In the black

‘Else we’re staring down
Blue lights
Hands cuffed behind
Our backs

We hunt people
Like panthers
Stalking valleys
For a feast

And when the target
Holds still
We sink our fangs
Into the meat

And tear off millions
That we don’t have
So we can spend it
Freely

Get the kids out of
The county schools
Champagne and
Lakefront property

Sell me a dream
Damned be the consequences
I’m somebody here
They need my brain
And my tendency to bend the rules, oh

Sell me a life
In which I want for nothing
I’ll avert my eyes
From the grift
And the lies and the unearned riches

I start fudging
All the numbers
Skimming pennies
Off the top

Open offshore
Accounts
It’s an obsession and
I can’t stop

Finally found
My people
After years
Of loneliness

Traded the need
To start fires for
Fraud at others’
Behest

Sell me a dream
Damned be the consequences
I’m somebody here
They need my brain
And my tendency to bend the rules, oh

Sell me a life
In which I want for nothing
I’ll avert my eyes
From the grift
And the lies and the unearned riches

Damned be the risks and the consequences
Smitten with well-heeled friends and access
Too late for remorse or penitences

Start a Fire

I think I’ll go start a fire
A fire the ruins the liars
Who said that we were like family
Fictitious filial chemistry

They paid me handsomely
To keep the wheels spinning
Ignore the kickbacks and drugs
That’s just the cost of business
Now I’m just another expense
They simply couldn’t keep
Watch out former “brothers”
This gift horse has some sharp teeth

Lights out
It’s three AM
I’ve got cans of gasoline
In the trunk by the spare tire
Don this balaclava and
Check to see the building’s empty
Turn off the security feed

Stealthy backroom deals gave a
False sense of security
Cocaine-fueled confessions
Still etched into my memory
Now rumor has it
The feds are looking into things
Won’t trace it back to me
Even if they find a rat who sings

Lights out
It’s three AM
I’ve got cans of gasoline
In the trunk by the spare tire
Don this balaclava and
Check to see the building’s empty
Turn off the security feed

Soak, soak, soak
Soak the files
Soak the files

Then pour, pour, pour
On the servers
In the cold room

Run, run, run
Run away
Run away

Strike a match
Hide your eyes
From the light
 

Tell Us Everything

Here at county, the cell smells like
How my head felt when that pig
Smashed my skull between his boot
And the curb

Now the DA’s got a problem to solve
When you post your own bail
People wonder how you
Were involved

Gaze at my ankle bracelet
With its blinking LED
Attorney stumbles in, paper in her hand
She's smiling at me

Says there’s an offer
I think you’ll want to take
Slides me a copy of a letter
My hands start to shake

Tell us everything that you know
Corporate fraud investigators
Need to make a case that shows
Perspective from the inside

You’ll only serve eight months for your crime
This is our only offer
Sign this witness statement tonight
Your nightmare’s nearly over

When I was sixteen, some pig
Pushed me and V
Against a fence
Said we were holding
Then he booked us downtown

Square room, gray walls
Asked me point blank
Where my stash was
I played dumb for hours
Confident she’d do the same

A snitch is a snitch, right?
Ha! These goons are thieves
Who live to con and beguile
They even hoodwinked me

Guess I’m complicit
A tool they could exploit
And let go
No, this isn’t snitching
It’s reaping what you sow

Tell us everything that you saw
Corporate fraud investigators
Need a star witness to talk
You’ll get a new identity

So you can reset your life
Another blank canvas
Sign this witness statement tonight
Your nightmare’s nearly over

Tell us everything that you know
Tell us everything that you saw
Tell us everything that you heard
Your freedom hinges on your word

Testimony

Will the courtroom sketch
Show the shadows ‘neath
My eyes?

Will my words
Pave the road
To my demise?

Can I shred one set
Of principles in favor of
Another?

Does my face
Belie the truth I’m poised
To tell?

Does this bargain bin suit
Reveal the distance
That I fell?

Can this functionary in the black
Robes understand how I was
Led here?

I’ll affirm my testimony
Keep your bibles out of sight
I’ll tell you how it happened
But I’ll never waive my rights.
There’s a dam that’s about to break
Hope you know how to swim

Yes I see the defendants in the courtroom
Yes I did set fire to their files
Yes I am prepared to bolster the state’s case
But don’t think for a minute that I harbor
Regret for my actions

What if I lied on the stand
After raising my right hand?
What if I spun up a tale on the spot
And let the state’s big case go to rot?

I’d still be a wanted man
And I’d forfeit my escape plan
But oh, so sweet for the state to choke
Straighten my tie and I clear my throat

There’s a safe deposit box
Where all the funds go

A box for me and one for every
Fool they cut

Suppose my pay was piling up
Never bothered to check

It’s from the unofficial payroll
Confiscate it if you want

They figured
Nobody rolls when the
Price is right

They figured 
That the rewards 
Spoke for themselves

They figured every loose end
Had a bow around its neck
Never figured that their figurer
Solved problems with flames

One Hundred Destinations

So cold your toes
Freeze inside of your boots
But this is witness protection
I don’t get to choose

Find a Bentonville Bazaar
Wave hello to the greeter
You should smile a lot, they said
Act like a good neighbor

As I sidle down the aisle
‘neath the fluorescent lights
A big box of strike anywheres
Catches my eye

I throw it in the buggy
With the socks and the beer
Then like a man with good intentions
I pay the cashier

Time to burn bright
(Compulsions never ceasing)
Time to burn bright
(Flames in her eyes still gleaming)

The snow covered my windshield
Like ants on a crumb
I pull over for shelter
As my digits go numb

Just a sorry dive bar
On the outskirts of town
Yank open the door
The patrons turn ‘round

They see it’s just a fella
Come in from the snow
And turn back to their drinks
Warm and safe from the cold

‘Cept for one pair of eyes
That keeps studyin’ my face
I turn to ask what’s the trouble
And my heart starts to race

Time to burn bright
(Compulsions never ceasing)
Time to burn bright
(Flames in her eyes still gleaming)
Time to burn bright
(Compulsions never ceasing)
Time to burn bright

At a bend in the road
You can see through the trees
A ray of sunlight appears
Illuminating her cheeks

Excuse me, sir, she said,
Elbows planted on the bar
I think we’ve met before
What brings you out this far?

As the snow let up
We orchestrated a scheme
I abandoned my car and
Rode away with V

She winks and fires up a joint
As we tear down the road
We’ve got a hundred destinations
And nowhere to go

Time to burn bright
(Compulsions never ceasing)
Time to burn bright
(Flames in her eyes still gleaming)
Time to burn bright
(Blank canvas, start painting)
Time to burn bright